We do things a little bit differently here…
Every company seems to write their “About Us” page so that it’s short and sounds like they hired some corporate writer to make them seem cool, or profitable, or big, or something equally pathetic and stupid.
Hey… We did that too…
But, then we realized… WAIT!!!
We are ninjas! What are we doing with this wimpy “About Us” page?
So… It’s time for the real story…
Blvnp was created by a top secret organization of master ninjas who got bored killing people (now that pirates use machine guns and speedboats it’s just not as much fun).
We decided to use our amazing skills for selling books.
It seemed perfectly logical at the time. Really…
All master ninjas are heavy readers and masters of human psychology.
So… Where was I… Oh yeah, we decided, “Hey, let’s sell books instead of kill people!”
As you can imagine, this idea did not go over well at first (many blood duels were fought). But as it turned out, several of our members had worked quite extensively in the internet marketing and publishing world with their secret identities.
We officially created Blvnp in 2003… BUT… After cutting the heads off of all of our old lawyers and getting new ones, we re-incorporated in 2013.
We have created a great deal of best-sellers in various categories, including Health, Romance, Business, and Psychology. We publish both digital ebooks and print books. And recently, we’ve started publishing magazines too!
Innovation but sticking to traditions is something ninjas are best at 😉
So here’s what we do:
When a book is getting published by Blvnp it is read by our team of Grammar Nazis/Ninjas (they’re both) who will literally cut out any misspelled words and grammar errors (it was really hard on laptop screens until we got them touch screens and padded swords).
Once the author approves the edits, our team of Graphic Ninjas meditate and visualize deep into the cosmic group mind and create eye-catching covers, ready to blind an innocent book reader.
Our Marketing Ninjas step in to make sure that the book would be seen by the people who want your book for and make sure they buy it!
Of course being ninjas we have grown Blvnp quickly with thousands of books and now magazines.
Honestly, we love this. It is so much more fun than killing people in their sleep. Of course killing monsters (especially gorgons) is still pretty fun. Look behind the scenes in some of the team photos, and you will see a bit of gorgon blood.
Plus, we all love being with one another. We’re all fun, crazy, and we patch ourselves up whenever someone hits someone else with their sword accidentally.
Our locations are supposed to be top secret, but since our authors and our future ninjas need to have an idea where we’re at, here’s a clue:
Our mailing address is in California, USA and we’re incorporated in Nevada, USA. One of our main headquarters is in Cebu, Philippines.
If that all sounds confusing… It’s because it is.
Ninjas are supposed to be mysterious.
If you’ve figured it out, then maybe you can be one of us.
How do I pronounce “Blvnp”?
After some of our people had mispronounced Blvnp too many times, we had to use them as throwing star practice so….
For your safety Blvnp is pronounced like “Bah-Live-Nip”.
It is a super secret word (well… it was secret before we wrote this “About Us” page) which means:
“Have a good time ALL the time and if you are not having a good time, then change the situation.”
WHAT?!
Ninjas can be fun too. People just don’t realize how fun we can be. We just get a bad name from all of the killings.
Also, we break dance. But we do it incognito for obvious reasons. Of course, we also read and sharpen our swords.
Telling so many secrets at once has me feeling queasy. I have to go practice with my disguises now.